Snowman 3
‘They all reach that stage where they’d rather have money, don’t they?’
‘And have you been good?’
‘Ah, so this is the real Christmas Island.’
‘Oh, him? That’s just Secret Santa.’
‘Hello, fire brigade? My cat is stuck up a tree…’
‘We’ve put in a basement swimming pool.’
‘Whose idea was it to hold this in winter?’
‘Darling, we need to engage in a meaningful dialogue.’
‘The fools! Don’t they know we’re already there?’
‘Did you leave the thermostat on high again?’
‘It’s a Twitter storm.’
‘The usual dilemmas — who’s died, who’s had a sex change, who’s converted to Islam…’
‘Like you, I’m very jumpy.’