Spectator Life

Many of us have been watching in awe at the profound impact that Meghan and Harry’s Oprah interview has had on the fight against endemic injustice. There has been an outpouring of empathy for the Duchess's suffering at the hands of the British. Not only has she had to live through the public spectacle of a royal wedding, she has had to endure the indignity of public scrutiny every time she wishes to travel by private jet. This is not how a victim should be treated. The Duchess is riding on a wave of American support and has challenged one of the oldest institutions on earth. She shows us that the world can be turned upside down when the power of suffering is successfully harnessed.

If your genetic code survived the Pleistocene epoch, and prospered sufficiently that you find yourself reading this, I feel I ought to warn you that you are in great danger. For though the woolly marmoset and sabre-toothed sloth may be extinct, a new apex predator has emerged: human beings, or more specifically, other human beings. In this latest evolutionary cycle, they have turned cannibalistic, traversing great swathes of the webosphere at high speed to feast on their favoured delicacy: you and your opinions. Far from becoming a more civilised species, we are in the midst of an epidemic of cancellations. We have no dinner dates to bail on, so we cancel each other instead. It can be for almost anything — a racist sneeze here, a transphobic pair of shoes there.

He might now be one of the most powerful men in global media, but I find whenever I see a photograph of Nick Clegg, Orwell’s quote about everyone getting the face they deserve by 50 comes to mind. Now 54, the remnants of the boyish idealist are still just about there, but the eyes to me are ledgers of too much unhappy compromise – deadened, I always assume, by the principles he felt forced by David Cameron to sacrifice for personal advancement, and by the amazing decision to see out the remaining years of a career spent failing upwards as Mark Zuckerberg’s lavishly remunerated PR lickspittle. For a decade and more, Clegg positioned himself as the good guy of British politics – radiating sixth form actor star power at every opportunity.

It’s Mother’s Day and, once again, I muse on how little some friends really know one. I never expect anything in a friendship that I can’t return – hence I do not look for loyalty or kindness – but the only area in which I am ceaselessly short-changed is in the business of being seen as one truly is. Michel Polac may have opined that ‘To be loved is to accept to be mistaken for who you are not’, but I like someone who sees me clearly. You can slander my reputation and I won’t turn a hair (I’ll probably put you on the payroll), but if you dare insinuate at this time of year that I must be feeling mis because of my dismal record on that front, I will immediately dismiss you as a sentimental half-wit with the perception of a pit-pony.

The world is obsessed with clutter. Today, untidiness is seen as a moral failure and messy people are cast as incontinent reprobates lacking in all self-discipline. In his new book, Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life, Jordan Peterson tells readers that cleaning up their homes and offices is nothing less than a ‘moral obligation’. Brits seem to agree. Princess Anne was recently criticised and urged to declutter after viewers glimpsed her living room at Gatcombe Park, whilst Channel 5 is planning a new TV show in which Nick Knowles helps messy homeowners tidy up. With the end of lockdown in sight, UK charity shops are expecting a huge boom in donations as Britons rush to declutter.

As if the Labour party didn’t have enough to worry about with its withering opinion poll ratings, yesterday’s Times reveals that party officials are warning MPs of another potential danger: malicious TikTok parodies. The paper reports that Sir Keir himself is one of several Labour MPs whose names have been used by hard-left TikTok pranksters keen to cause trouble for the party’s Leadership. One user is apparently impersonating a shadow cabinet minister while using the antifa-linked slogan ACAB (all cops are bastards). Labour is now apparently lobbying the Chinese-owned video giant to remove the false accounts to avoid confusion. Well, quelle surprise really.

The sacking of Gina Carano is still creating waves in Hollywood. The martial artist turned movie actress was dropped from the Star Wars spin-off, The Mandalorian, after blocking BLM supporters on Twitter and stating that being a Republican in Hollywood was like being a Jew during the Holocaust. She compounded her sins by suggesting that voter fraud had affected the result of the 2020 election. Her employers, Lucasfilm, dismissed her views as ‘abhorrent’ and accused her of, ‘denigrating people based on their cultural and religious identities.’ Carano was also dropped by her management company, United Talent Agency. (So much for ‘united.’)  Then came the backlash.

Netflix gets a lot of stick for being woke these days - and not just from this parish. And when you look at the network’s recent signings, it’s not hard to see why. From hiring Michelle Obama to present kids’ shows to splashing out on the Sussexes, Netflix executives don't exactly hide their worldview. But for all the gripes levied against the media empire, there is one section of its content that gets off rather lightly. And that’s a bit of a shame. As not only do Netflix's current affairs documentaries come with a strong agenda, they’re also terrible examples of factual filmmaking. And the latter is the really unforgivable part. If you’re not familiar with Netflix’s documentary output, here's a quick rundown of some recent hits.

In the latest episode of 'Americans Do the Funniest Things,' it has emerged that The Simpsons is to replace the white voice actor for the character of Dr. Julius Hibbert with a black actor.  Hibbert, for those who don’t know him, is a mainstay of the show — a family doctor recognised by his white lab coat, gentle manner and signature chuckle. He is perhaps the least offensive character, despite being a Republican, a suspected morphine addict, and a member of Mensa, who revised his official position on the safety of binge eating after buying a 12 per cent stake in an all-you-can-eat restaurant, and who won’t conduct unethical procedures himself, but is more than happy to give you the number of a doctor who will.

In thinking about the worst political speeches delivered in Britain, I reached for lectures that weren’t just technically poor but epoch defining in their badness. Each one had to have said something larger about the inherent problems of the political class in our beleaguered age. With that in mind, in descending order, here are five that fell flat: Jeremy Corbyn’s 2015 Labour conference speech https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFo5a3PFn1M In his first conference speech as party leader, the reasons for Corbyn’s eventual defeat are all here, on full display. The speech itself is relentlessly boring and substance is remarkably absent throughout.